You are comparing your Relationship to others´ so you can stay in Yours
Raise your friggin standards.
I write about how women feel men- the subtle dynamics, the silent impact, the moments that shape safety, desire and connection. My work guides men into deeper presence, integrity and grounded masculine leadership.
I am really bad at doing things I don´t like or see meaning in, therefore I cannot stay in connections that are clearly over or act as if everything´s fine. I either try to change something in the dynamic or I am out.
What would be unbearable for me, is normal for many couples- they don´t enjoy their relationship but they also don´t change anything about it because the unknown is scarier than the known.
Men especially have this tendency- they stay in something that stopped working years ago, and find just enough comfort to justify not moving: porn, routine, distraction, a wife who is more roommate than lover- really anything to feel soothed without having to face the uncomfortable truth.
This is not a call to end your relationship- it’s a call to be honest about it:
Is this the relationship you dream of? Do you enjoy being in it? Does it lift you? Does she still look at you the way she used to? Do you still look at her the way you used to?
For most, the honest answer is no, and instead of sitting with that, most men look around. They see other couples who are equally miserable- or worse- and they feel better (“at least we are not them”)
That’s not a standard- you just chose terrible over extraordinary, convenience over potential, and comfort over aliveness.
Your relationship is either growing or it is dying, there is no neutral. The fact that it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s good, the fact that it’s stable doesn’t mean it’s alive.
Take a look at yourself: what do you actually desire?
Then look at her: when was the last time that being together felt like something you would choose again?
This isn’t about right and wrong, it’s about respect for yourself and for her. Because she deserves a man who is fully in, and you deserve a life that doesn’t require you to numb yourself so you can maintain it.
It all is a choice.
Start working with me by booking a discovery call here.